Beneath the shadows of my sin

Beneath the shadows of my sin

I scarce begin to think

This all there is

That dawn should break

The spell that hells

Within my heart

So here I remain

And wallow in my pain 

My pride to gain 

That grace abstain 

Yet sorrow aches

While thee alone

My soul forsakes

I've Martha'd my mind

In cycles of perfection

For all this grand baffet

Will pass away

And what becomes my joy

And grief my heart

When scarce it hear

The master urge me

To Mary my way

At His feet 

That humility should

My pride defeat

What love Devine 

Would have me in my scorn

While all the while am I 

Caught up in myself 

And judgement

Takes top shelf

Of all my bottled

Mess

Forgive me

Of my idle tongue 

And thoughts

That hung thee

Upon the tree 

I scare can gaze

Upon the cursed corpse

For know I it shouldst

Been mine

Did hang upon it there 

Yet my sorrowed despair 

Did rather take upon

Thyself 

That I should be

Made free

Thy misery 

A mystery to me

That majesty

Should stoop

To call me it's

Own

And in death

Should call me

Home as son

Betrothed and bride

Safe through 

All eternity

To abide

By His side

-Joshua Lee Foist

Break Me of Me

Break me of me

And my oh so fond

Obsession

For all I do

In this my

Confession

Make my desires

Be to thy glorious 

Affections

Who looks long

With eyes of love

Upon my imperfections 

Pursuing me

When I am full

Of discontent 

Carry me

And fill me

For I am undone

Void of desires 

Ere are passing

In thy presence

Erelasting the days

May be with hands

Raised to thee

My heart restore 

Anew emplore

That thy life 

May fill my veins 

Pure thy joy 

Restore 

Prepare my mind

And fixed be

On thee 

Repent and ere

Relent my will

Thy will be done

In me my heart

Now fill the more 

To ponder

And adore

No more of me

Thy ways

For all that life

Shall give

Tis a gift

And oh to joy 

This heart of mine

Employ divine

Thy light to shine 

Stain the dark

With thy lark of love

And spark a flame

In me that in

The darkest shadows

Bright the broken

Hearted night

That once more

Dawn again 

And conquer sin

And death shall be

No more

-Joshua Lee Foist

May not my status lie

May not my status lie
In what others think
Save in thy own
Great pleasure

May I ere
To treasure thee
More as thou
Dost me

For where
I may flee
No where else
Can I

That you
Are not
Nor death
To save

For thy life
Already
Gave

And here
Is love
The kind
I all too oft
Fear

To give
To live
In such
A way

Each and every
Day thou grants
So fond of
Acknowledgement

My life is hidden
With thee
And it need be
No mystery

So may my waking
And dying breath
Ever be

Oft and only
For thee
No matter
What trial

Or joy may be
Thou art
The only life
I know

That will never
Cease to bring
Me sweet
And fullest

Peace
To fill
My doubting
Mind

Hope beyond
All mankind
Thou art
And more

-Joshua Lee Foist

As Shadows Descend

As shadows descend

Forgiveness amend

My heart that resentment 

Hath sought and love

I've forgot

I've wronged and been wronged

Yet where is my acceptance 

Where has my desire

Acquired a taste for bitterness 

I long for the sweet refreshment of truth

To rest in it's comfort, surity, and proof 

Yet what must I lose for all this regain

Release from me this bondage of blame

Name in me that which I will not

Remove the cords which bind me

And free me of myself

Death I become that I may live 

Not for myself 

But thy love transfused

Deep in my veins

Hope here remains

While faith be my shield

To thee alone must I yield

And repent of my ways

No matter the cost

Your love alone is priceless 

And no other hope have I

Than this

So break me of my idle mind

Sever me from my idol kind

That I may seek thee alone

And love and forgive

As thy breath doth give 

My life is thine

And none other will do

So grant me a grace

To others love too

Seeking in kindness

Humility and peace

These wrongs I release 

Forgiveness always

To reconcile the wrong

And joy be our song

Renewed we in love

As you have restored 

So may we live on

Our lives be a story

Of your forgiveness 

And grace

-Joshua Lee Foist

As to return

As to return
I once more
To this place

Wherefore all
My wandering
Seems a disgrace

Yet still
Embrace I
All that you

Have brought
Me through
What love

Is this
That steals
This kiss

Remiss
And sacrifice
All for me

So change in me
And humble be
My heart

For that which
Is hard pressed
Upon me

Bring me
To thy side
Always in thee

May I abide
And fear be
Fleeting

That all my
Hope repeating
My heart

Still beating
You in grief
In sorrow

Today
Tomorrow
No other

Shall I borrow
For thy grace
Enough

So now
Love within
Defend

And depend
I all on thee
And courage

Come
That I may
In thee

Be one
In mind
And spirit

And share
This love
That you

Alone
Have brought
In me

So now
We change
Though once

A child
Was I
Now I

A man
And mirror
Within mirror

Shade within shade
This hope that will not
Fade in passing

Reminds of where
We begin
And where we

Shall one day be
Face to face
And fully

Know
As we are
Known

-Joshua Lee Foist

Reminiscing as I Do

Reminiscing as I do
Upon the morning scene
Reflecting on the things
That had been

And that which may yet be
For in my naivety
How oft I thought of my will
Than thine alone

So as to that which lies
Yet ahead
So guide me
In thy grace

To seek thy face
In all things
Thy faith secure
Shall guide me

For all my desires
Become thy own
Thy divine power
Shower over me

And lead me
In thy pathes
Of righteousness
Till that day

When all shall
Be made new
And at last
I shall be
With you

-Joshua Lee Foist

Surrendering all to that which shall never fade

Surrendering all to that which shall never fade
For all my hope is stayed upon Him
And all fleeting fantasies
Find their fancies no more

For all that I do adore
May it lie with thee
And thee alone
Evermore

This much is sure
None other
Shall I seek
Though I am weak

Thy joy untamed
My hope beyond lies
In you who know me
Full well

Strip me of my idolatry
For acceptance
May it only be in you
Who remain true

For all as I
Are but fallen
And broken

Thy love alone
Be my living hope
This joy I know
Shall not fade

But increasing
All the more
As I reach
The other shore

Where thy
Celestial lands
Begin and sorrows
Are at their end

For here come
My savior friend
Brother and king

The hope of everything
For which my soul
Doth sing
Tis here

-Joshua Lee Foist

How do I let you go

How do I let you go

When you're everywhere

I go

I try to forget you

But all the more I miss you

It haunts me inside

God forgive me

If my motives are wrong

Guide me to your truth

In you alone I long

Yet here in my heart

I do not know

How to let go

Where to begin

Or start over

Where do you go

When it seems

There's nowhere

To go

Where do you hide

For you alone

Inside

Know me for who 

I am the good the bad

It all

And love me

In my brokenness 

And repetitious lies

Oh open my eyes

May your truth

Be my guide

Nothing else

To confide 

Always by

Yourside

What ere the doubt

May come

Cannot o'ercome

Your love 

So catch me

In my guise of woe

And bring me to

Your heart

Nothing I have

Tis gain but only

In your name alone

All others are

Counterfeit

And I will none

Of it

-Joshua Lee Foist

Bring me to thy light

Bring me to thy light
And all for which
I do delight

Cast me from this shadow
Of sin and obsession
For my false profession

May faith find me
Renewed by thy
Unchanging presence

For all I have
Oft upheld
As my own

I do so surrender
To thy throne
And claim thee

As my own
For my price
Hath paid

My life tis saved
And this not of myself
Thy death and life

Have proved
Thy love
Unmoved

From me
The least of these
And greatest of failures

Forgiven
For all my
Waywardness

So create in me
A new self
Surrender

All of once I knew
That I may oft
And only

Desire you
And you
Above all others

For whether
Any other
This life may find

Thy love alone
Divine
No other can give

So by thy power
And truth
May I live

Free of all other
Oppression
Thee alone

My one
And great
Profession

-Joshua Lee Foist

Once more to wade and wander

Once more to wade and wander
Upon the uncharted sea
Of my own melancholy
Exposed for what it
Dare could be

Oh hope
That trials
Within me
And doubt
Disdain

Would have me
In its vain conceit
I bear thee no more
For though the light
Through that open door

Tis a thing most glorious
And which I do so much abhor
Tis more of guilt than guile
For while I here gaze

My inward soul doth praise
At last to see the light of rest
And endless days
To know the truth
And always

For too long
Have I sung
This tiresome
Song

Dependent I
On all others
Whether sisters
Or brothers

Save not on that which
Is most safe and true
The only one I do
So much depend

Ah so then
To crucify
My old obsessions
And have thee
At thy word

So teach me this
That I myself deny
And trust thee alone

Fill my faith
And grow within
Let not doubt
Weed its way in

So as I
Depart
And cast
Away

May my only gaze
Be upon you
All days

For I have no other hope
Then thou alone
Who cannot fail
So in thy truth

May I only sail
The shores of that
Isle of salvation
My one and only
Destination

-Joshua Lee Foist

For where do I place my affections

For where do I place my affections

Remind me of my obsessions

I am all confessions

But what of thee

Thou art unchanging

My heart is broken

It bleeds a little at a time

Yet you alone know 

More than I could ere believe

Thou hast gone farther still

Thy love tis more than this

Forgive me of my Judis kiss

I must move on

I must surrender

Dare I remember

And live in memory

Alone I am not

Though all too oft

I can myself deceive 

In thee alone may I

Believe fill the void 

I do avoid to admit 

Thy love alone enough

Let me not forget 

This hope I have remains

Yet drive me from 

This fit if it is not

Within your plan

My heart is in your hand

And though I may not

Understand I must believe

Thy ways are true

Thou and thou alone

Wilt do and no one

Ere beside

-Joshua Lee Foist

What now for love and comfort

What now for love and comfort
Thou has found me
Content in my own
Desires

What for oh love
Tis not thee I seek
But my own self
To be satisfied

And thee objectified
Tis but folly
And facade
A demigod

Of my own creation
My approximation
Of thy authentic kind
Yet where oh love

Can one find
Such a love
Unselfish
As thee

Oh love
For all my
Complacency
Love why

Do thou remain
Unchanged
So faithful
When all I know

Tis folly
Of my own
Choosing
And all

Confusing
Succumb to my own
Deceit oh love
Break me of this

For thy tender kiss
I dare reminisce
Save even this
Tis loneliness

To give without
Expectation
Thou hast
No reservation

Oh love
Show me how
To love as thee
For I am all

Complacency
To love for love's sake
And not my own
So love

Be in me
As thou
Has taught
And catch me

In thy gaze
And hold me fast
For only this love
Will surely last

So keep me
From all
Foolish
Ventures

And humble me
That I unselfishly
May so love
The least of these

As thou so graciously
Hath loved me
For who I am
And not as I should be

-Joshua Lee Foist

Rest mine eyes upon thy face

Rest mine eyes upon thy face
Upon thy steadfast grace
Which carries me
Through the storm

Though oft my foot
May slip
And fall
So search

My soul
And take
Control

For all I am
No hiding
From thee

So turn my will
To thine alone
For I dare not
Trust my own

Long have I strayed
In my own way
And where hath it
Brought me each day

Save to you
Who knows me
Best of all

Though I weep
Though I crawl
Have me
One and all

I am desperately
In need and none other
Dare I heed than
Thou who didst bleed

That my heart
May heal
For thou
Art real

The one and only
None ere beside
Dare to suffer
So for me

So take me
Hopeless yet
Hopeful for thee

Nowhere
Can I flee
From thy
Presence

And wonder be
The thought of thee
Who will not
Abandon

So trudge I
The raging sea
In sheer serenity
For thou art with me

And guide me
By faith and hand
To thy glorious land
Beyond

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now to this unsettled feeling

Now to this unsettled feeling

When well I know I must remain

For all I hope tis lost 

Tis vain in me

For well I know

My heart my mind

Tis fleeting

God help me

Though I long

May thou be

My one true song

While all the world

Beside shall thee

In I always abide

Thy will be my guide

In time shall you provide 

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now to that glorious awakening

Now to that glorious awakening
Where all other things forsaking
To come and be present
In this place

Where shadows may come
And lingering be
Yet still thy light
Illuminating me

Oh faith do find
In me the ability
Save not flee
Oh errant desires

May thy joy rest
Upon me
Where doubt
There be
May it flee

Oh to awaken
To that joyous land
Though a far way off
Still along the horizon

It yet lies
Mine eyes
Shall trace
Its gentle grace

Though fear may come
As quickening in the night
Oh faith be my sight
To hold the candle light

Reveal thy truth
May it be my saving proof
That thou art unchanged
And so I too though changing

My heart
Longs more
And more for you
Who shall ere remain

Through doubt and pain
So cast mine eyes
Upon thy face
To find

My hope
Untainted
My joy renewed
Shall carry me

Through this tempest at sea
Though currents may catch me
Thy will shall carry me
Safely to shore

And there at last
All present and future
Past as one shall be
When come I to be
With thee

Then no more
The darkness shall I
Wake to see
For thy joy

And light
Shall always
Delight in me
Boundless free

Thou remain in me
And I with thee
Through all
Eternity

-Joshua Lee Foist

Break me of my false pretenses

Break me of my false pretenses

Burden me with thy boundless love

For brother and enemy

As thou above do so

Greatly love me

My heart is full of vanity

And thirst for a worldly humanity

That seeks a superficial grace

But tis a disgraceful profanity

So come humility 

Grant me the ability

With open eyes

And ears and heart

To serve thy kingdom come

And here thy will be done

Not for my sake or others praise

But that they be caught up

And amazed by thy wonderous

All encompassing steadfast love

May thy light so shine

And burn me to the core

Ruin the darkness 

That oft clouds my vision

Unglaze my eyes

And fill them with a hunger

And holy wonder

To seek thee and serve thee

Most diligently in word and deed 

Not out of obligation

But of pure intoxication

For thy unbridled love

So grant it me

For enemy and me

That my life would so be

A crude counterfeit of thee

And nothing more

So this day

May I begin

To live and be

Set free

Of fear

And live

By faith

In hope of that

Greater country

That lies beyond 

Where we shall be

Face to face and free 

-Joshua Lee Foist

I shall awhile with thee wander once more

I shall awhile with thee wander once more
In the air of that far off land
In the gaze of that garden of green
In the shadows of that greater land

Amidst the meadows of that better country
The air is rich and full sweet
Filled with the fragrance of thy unbridled creation
And though these are but passing portraits

They are a welcome respite of that
Which is yet to come
The sum of them
Is ne'er enough

Though of their eternal architect
The author of their existence
Is far beyond wreckening
And wild in His wonder

His glory beyond
All comprehension
Of all the greatest thunder
And tempests at sea

Are but a jest to His
Glorious majesty
His presence alone
Doth prick every hair

To stand on end
They all as one
With gladness
Bow in boundless

Exaltation before the Lord
Of all creation
King of that Greater Land
Who formed them not

By His hand
But the thought
The word
Became

Flesh that dwelt
And dwells
Amongst us
Divine

No one is greater
Yet to taste and see
And bask in His
Beauty

Wonder beyond all wonders
And though the memory
Of this passing shadow
But a moment lingers

The longing
That comes
Far greater
Anew

Doth surge
Within the vessel
Of every vein
For it longs

To be in that place again
Yet glory of all
These ancient wonders
The knowledge

And wisdom that come
From His Words
Doth fill the void
Of time and space

So sweet the substance
Of their choice taste
Doth tickle the tongue
When from the mouth
Is spronge

So release the joy
Of that exaltation
And may it ere to be
As one declaration

Though in this broken land
We may awhile remain
There is a hope that yet
Is found within the cracks
Of this dying wasteland

And it speaks of a life anew
It warms and glistens
With the goodness of that
Greater Kingdom

When all burdened breath
Shall no more be born
Then come the dawn
Of that new day

Where all shall be
Made new
And joy of joy
Shall we be home

-Joshua Lee Foist

Wherefore ere the sun shall rise

Wherefore ere the sun shall rise
Look on with expectant eyes
And hope in this passing breath
Release my worry and stress

For me not devise
A cruel disguise
Let truth surprise
And open eyes

To see thy very great and wise
Who alone can know and fill
Thou alone still and still
Wake my slumber

No more in shadows
Hide for in thee
Shall I always
Abide

My joy
My pride
In thee alone
Shall I confide

For thou art king
And I thy bride
Thy hope of one day
While here betrothed

This vow
May I by it
Always live
And to another

Ne'er to seek
For none in they
Shall wash away
Or know me

As thou
Dost know me
In the deep
And dark

Light
Bring to my
Lonesome heart
Depart oh fear

By faith
Be filled
Thy truth
Revealed

Enough
To this frail
Satisfaction
Canst ere

The dust
Of this broken land
Ere to meet
The grace

Of thy pierced hand
For love alone
Did form this place
And love alone

To carry discrace
To save that some
May return
And reconcile

To thee
Alone shall
Find and not
Another to bind

Of this grafted vine
Shall make me
Thine own
One

-Joshua Lee Foist

What ere a day may come

What ere a day may come

What ere the hour

And breadth 

Of its sum

Thy will alone be done

For fear too long hath

Fooled me

And debted me

Of dreams

For where desire 

Is delighted in you

And ere a heart may

Sing anew

Thy praise

Thy glory

Shall be

My story

For too long my path 

Hath plummeted in vain

And I had nothing in me

To gain

Till once again

Thy mercy awakened

My heart ne'er forsaken

My soul set free

Oh savior and king

May come this joy

If thy will it employ 

Save not my will

But thine be done

And so shall see

The night to fall

And the dawn

Turn spring

-Joshua Lee Foist

Tear down the walls of this counterfeit kingdom

Tear down the walls of this counterfeit kingdom

And build up in me thy temple of eternity

That thy kingdom might come in me

And all earthly desires dissolve in triviality

For all my vein expectations

Bind and break their false declarations

Indwell in me thy majesty

And move me to humility 

That all other things forsake

Save for thy love in me to take

To taste and see in full

That thou art all and all in me

None other will do

Nor can ere see me through

Grace beyond to guide

And give when fall I again

So carry me

In thy love

That I may learn

And long to discern

That which is good and best

That for all my trials

Shall face them one and all

For the sake of obeying thy call

And love beyond all love of my own

Peace to fill the fear and guard me

So guide oh precious lamb

Give ear to me

And open my eyes

To see thy face

Oh blessed sacrifice

Thou hath grafted me

One with thee 

And bound for all

Eternity thy one and only

Life of life and love of love

So grant me a spirit

And humble heart 

In part though imperfect still

To love others as thou will

Be thou my one and only 

Anxious enduring thought

Constant and consciously

Oh great savior and king 

Through all the days of life

And ere beyond

Till the oceans meet

The sand of that eternal kingdom land

Oh come the day

When wash away

All tears and earthly fears

And home

To thy one

And only love

Who knows me best

And ne'er forsake

For love 

Thy name and claim

Cannot defame

Thy promise true

Art thou

One and only

True and none other

Will do

-Joshua Lee Foist

From my weakness make me strong

From my weakness make me strong 

In my strength humble me

Break down my kingdom

And may yours come

In me

Still my tongue

Till it drips of kindness 

And tender be my ways

Soften my heart

Breath courage through

My gaping wounds

Wrap thy wisdom and grace 

Round my heart

So set my eyes

On thy sweet sacrifice 

Will my ways to

Sing thy praise 

Humble me

And fill me

With strength 

And love

To serve as thou

Hast from above

To set aside

My pride

And surrender

My spirit

Be filled

In thee

To deny all that

Which fleeting be

To taste that which

Satisfies

Open my heart

To a broken people

Love not of my own

Become me

My life no more

Save in thy keeping 

Be my one and only

Thought pursuing

Live I to die

That others might live

To taste and see

That thou art good

Oh source of life

Be always near me

Thy will be mine

A grafted vine

Bear thy fruit

Upon this resurrected 

Vine

The wine of thy

Eternal fount

Fill my veins

And nourish me

In the drought 

And dark

Thy spark

A flame

To fire me

Unquenched consume

And conquer me

That all remain

Thy one and only

Wherefore this life

I fleeting find

Be thou alone

My every ambition

And so desire

That dares to dream

Dream on the theme

Of thy kingdom come

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now no more for envy

Now no more for envy
And jealousy
Begone oh fear
Resentment

Thou art a cancer
And cruel thy ways
That seek thine own
Praise

But only to fear
Thou who knowest me
And formed me
And loves me still

Thou art enough
And as for worthless
Stuff that rages for my
Attention

May my one ambition
Be thus to praise
And find my joy
In you

No other beside
Whether earthly
Treasures find
They are but fleeting

Thou art ever
Increasing
As I my desires
Decreasing

May these fruits
Be found in me
Love, joy, and peace
Release from me

My worry
Of all that
I cannot
Control

Grant me service
And gentleness too
That what ere may come
Thy will in me be done

-Joshua Lee Foist
 

Awakening though in dreamscape

Awakening though in dreamscape
While the isle of imagining
Finds its meaning
In this

Where might we sail
For time and trial
Hath proved
Some growth

Along the bay
The shifting sands
Have washed away
And revealed

A soul beneath
The clay
Softening
And seeking

Deeper still
To find
An open
Transcendance

The soul awakens
Anew to this world
Of you that always
Has been

Though long hath waited
For perseverance to prove
Its worth in time
This birth

At last
To come
And though
Much remains

Unseen
Thy hope
Refreshed anew
In you

Thy life
Is here
And have
No fear

For what earthly
Trials await
Fade to compare

Of thy love
And certainty
To carry

Through what
Ere may come
Thou alone

Shall remain
And comfort
Through the
Pain

For all in thee
To gain
And then
Glory

The joy
Of this story
Life once
Proved

Its purpose
Profound
And provident

-Joshua Lee Foist

Let me awhile to wait and wonder

Let me awhile to wait and wonder
To plunder my way in the air of day
To walk the road less travelled
And find a joy in kind most real

To wade in thy world of peace
Release my worries
And welcome it in
Away my doubts

And fear before me
I shall no more of thee
This day for here I come
To ponder and pray

Here I come in earnest
Longing to be near you
Ever more and more
For dark the days

Of late I know
The shadow oft
Before me
Lingers

Yet your presence
Enough finds me
Still and calms
My cares away

Where might we go
In this eve of day
Where may you
Lead me

Guide me
I pray where
You will this day
And beyond

For fragile my form
And feeble my mind
Tis no one in kind
That knows me

As you
Who formed
And fashioned
Me thus

And glorious
Most glorious
Thy works
Oh Lord

None less glorious
Thy hands cannot form
Tis all so good and very
Good as well it should be

Thy glory
Surrounds my
Anxious heart
And wakes it

To thy glorious
Art and ravish
In the inward parts
To welcome it full

My soul
To feed
In this thy
Hour

In this
My need
My heart
Is full

And found
Most whole
In thee

-Joshua Lee Foist

In the shifting shadows

In the shifting shadows

Of this heart and mind

Grant me faith to find

My hope is in you

In the dark that overcomes 

And the drums that beat 

Louder and louder within

So fill me and bring peace

From all that would compete

For your affections 

May these imperfections

See my need

Within the shadows

Surround this silouette 

And shine thy light

May it be

A delight

To the soul

Set free

This canopy of faith

Is found in thee

Who shines through

The shadows 

Of this misery 

For joy thou art

My song anew

So keep my eyes 

Upon thy giver 

Too

That for all the doubts 

That poison my mind

Pull back the curtains

And reveal thy truth

May it ever shine

This hope divine

Is not in vain  

For thou hast

Taken the pain

And made it thine

That life may be borne

Of you who 

Took the shame

For thy life

Becomes my own

When I surrender

To thy throne

-Joshua Lee Foist

An ale at eve

An ale at eve

With a friend 

Of old times

And new

The brew is familiar

And the place too

Yet here I wonder

How to be

Presently I wonder

How to be here

But not caught up

Within

The room is full

Of countless known

And where do I stand

Thy truth beside 

May it always with me

No more a mystery 

May thy light be shown

In this place 

And thy light of truth

And grace flow from

My lips as silver

Prudence prepare me

For what's ahead

By you may I be fed

-Joshua Lee Foist

When life it seemed a simpler thing

When life it seemed a simpler thing

And now to be a dream to dream

Desire drifts away and hours 

Into endless day

Away away oh such futile thoughts 

The life of man as vapor drops

That dry in the sunlit sand

If even to drink

Upon that ocean of dew

To drift down that green

And ease through the earth

In a backward birth

Seems better

Than waiting

And no action taking

When energy subsides 

Into weary regret

The thing of which was lost

And we'll have none of it

Our pride denied

And humility

Spent

Repent

Our ways 

And long for praise

Oh savior

Hear a restless soul

Who yearns to be

Made whole again

The breath recedes

The sigh fades 

And eyelids gaze

O'er the gray haze 

Where might the color 

Return

Where my the joy

Learn

Return

To that which 

Already is known

The failure - It seems

The nightmare of dreams 

Is conscious again 

And there is no waking

From it

So here 

And now

Upon the sea

Give way to hope

And let it be free

To wash its course

And welcome 

Me

For mine was lost 

And found may be

But strength I've lost

To draw it home

Oh savior

Thou art life

So fill this void

I have naught 

But hope in thee

Thou art sure 

Thou art true 

Died that I 

Might live 

Anew

So life

Of life

Renew

And draw me

Near to you

For dark the hour

And distant

The day

That dawns

The break of spring

When winter seems

The only thing

So warm these bones

And fill these veins 

Thy scars revive 

Thy blood my

Life 

-Joshua Lee Foist

Distant Twilight

Distant
       Twilight
             Till all
                   Remains
             Have run
       Their course

And I
     Sit upon
           The sandy shore
                   Looking out
                        To that distant
                                Horizon of hope
                           Where might
                      Thou lead me
               What path must
          I walk
    To left     Or right
            I cannot
        Be Sure

So where to begin
       And where to go
             I cannot simply
                  Sit idly by

                         So faith
                             Carry me
                                  And give me
                                       Purpose
                                               Hope
                                                  For that
                                                      Inevitable truth

                                                Guide me
                                            Restore me
                                        To thy peace
                                       
                                            Fill me
                                                Grant me
                                                    Thy joy

                                               Yet
                                                  As
                                                      I

                                                          Wonder
                                                      May my
                                                  Thoughts

                                                      Rise to thee
                                                          I pray my
                                                             Doubts
                                                                Would not
                                                                     Plague me
                        
                                                                           But draw me
                                                                                Near to you
                                                                                     May my contentment
                                                                                             Be here with thee

                                                                                     For I cannot hope
                                                                                 To find my way
                                                  Alone

                                                       Thy truth
                                                           Hath shown
                                                               I am thy own

                                                                    And none can
                                                                         Take me from
                                                                       Thee

                                                                          So carry me
                                                                             Through the desert
                                                                                 And the tempest
                                                                                       
                                                                                      That here I may find
                                                                                          Peace and be still
                                                                                                Commit my plans
                                                                                                     To thee
                       
                                                                                               And persevere
                                                                                          Till thou shalt
                                                                                       Reveal thy

                                                                                           Way

                                                                                             And calm
                                                                                           My fears
                                                                                             And open
                                                                                                  My heart
                                                                                                   
                                                                                                      To
                                                                                                     You

                                                                                                            - Joshua Lee Foist

Spring out oh field of open dreams

Spring out oh field of open dreams
Let not thy fears or acceptance of years
Be thy guide upon the narrow path

For narrow the path that starts the course
But broad the way that leads after it
So distant the glimmer of early morn
Then extravagant the array of dawn turned day

The open horizon most glorious
And abundantly full of possibility
So grant me this great agility
To climb the heights most willingly

And unfraid be my countenance of courage
That charges on ahead knowing
Its by faith alone I tread
And all my hope is fed

So no more for fear of failure
Or what others may say
My one hope and thought I pray

That thou mayst guide
And in thee alone
May I abide

For my plans
Thy will and way
Shall ne'er to stray

So be my courage
And charge
Through all
The great
Divide

-Joshua Lee Foist

Where might thou lead me

Where might thou lead me
Deny in me that which is fleeting
Desires I find in thee
May they fill more and more

Open my eyes to see
The bountiful spread
Of thy joyous feast

Fill my heart with longing
For all my belonging
Lies here in thee

Where ere my appetites
Have been too small
A scrap of nurishment

Show me how to love
That which long
I have corrupted
Into that which
Was not intended

May thy good be found
In full and surrender I
My control to thee

So fill this gaunt being
In me that long hath
Filled upon the scraps
And never known

The taste of banquet halls
Where thy tables never
Empty of substance
For thy host is there

Oh great lamb
Once slain
So now regain
In me again

The joy of thee
For of thee I feed
And of thee my one
Greatest need
Found fulfilled

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now to uncertainty, of that which was, and now may be

Now to uncertainty, of that which was, and now may be
A cool wind hath chilled me to the bone
And awhile I was alone lost inside of me
Where distant melodies soothe

A weeping heart
That knows not the emotion to display
While others are busily away
About their preparation

And what to say
That battle long hath spent
And must not resent
No I must learn to love
Repent

Yet where shall I
Retire these thoughts
These dreams
These hopes

Where might my work
Be welcomed again
To where should I go
For all round the wind
Begins to blow

And I an uncharted sea
Of misory and meloncholy
For I know not what to say
But pray and hope

Tis all I know
For thou hast brought me
Here for a season
And then again

Shall this restless wanderer
Again find a peaceful shore
Be where it be
For when the search

No more shall find
I wading the waters
Blind and cold

Thy hand to guide
My wounded pride
Confide my cares
To thee

O Lord of my youth
I pray be my guide
For discouragement
Would long

So to take me
And thrash me
'Gainst these rocks

But thy foundation
Is sure and though I know
Not the cost didst bear
For my sake

May I yet still
Ne'er cease to doubt
Thy faithfulness

Whether in the green
Or valley bring
Thy manna
Enough to fill

And more
Thy bread of life
Tis all to feed
This hungry soul

A thousand years
Eternity
For trials
An ephemoral
Nightmare

And then
Reconciled
Restored

When at last
To taste the air
Of that peaceful
Shore

No more waiting
For thy glory
Revealed
And ravishing joy
Fade despair
And doubt
No more

For here lies home
Ahead for miles and miles
The ceaseless sands extend
No guardian here need defend

For its freedom
Long ago twas gained
And ruby red now
The joyous stain
Once of pain

Now the lamb once slain
Restored and walks
The peaceful shores

And extends his banquet
Halls to all who would
Come to join
In the feast

Where at last
Thy travels come
An end

And thou art always
Before thy one
And only
Dearest friend

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now I retire once more to my restless mind

Now I retire once more to my restless mind
And find I need more to repent
Of oft my discontent
For why I am
This way

As spring comes
And winter winds blow
The ice that chills
And warmth that melts away

The restless resentment
That oft may lodge in me
May it soften and soothe
And courage in me prove

To find my joy in you
Who know my every need
Before I plead
That thou should grant it me

Oh joy may I rest secure in thee
Sweet savior and not be lost
In fleeting fantasy
Or hope of requisite romanticy

The truth is far more compelling
And jarring though not acquired in taste
It transforms that which is waste
And gives it confidence

For in its acceptance
Find repentance and forgiveness
Full to shed the doubts and deceit
That oft may trip its feet

And in acceptance all
That ere may it seek
For there at last surrender
Doth bring a welcome change

And rest to find amidst the weary way
For long the road upon the day
When at last to find
A lodge along the path

For peace
Grants much release
From all that may
Be built upon
A heavy heart

So melt away
All the doubt
And fear
And come

Draw me near
To thee
And rest
Upon thee

Oh comfort
Secure
To trust in thee
Alone

Life
And breath
Are here
And full
Complete

No more
The clouds
Of longing
Linger

Thy voice
Calms the winds
That whistle within
And welcome
Home

This heart
That long hath sought
Though knew the way not

And at last did find
When thy gate keeper
Didst draw this one near

No more rejected
But by thee perfected
And made whole

-Joshua Lee Foist

Lost in the rain dance

I got lost in the rain dance 

Rather than the rain

I was caught up in the experience

But had nothing to gain

My whole of existence

Was wrapped in its splendor

Yet then I remembered

The reason for this

The dance 

The smooth kiss of love

All of it disguised

By the great overture

And the rain never came

The fog in my mind

Did find no moisture

At all

For the rain

Had long been spent

And now the desert

Of resentment settled in

How easily to be lost

In the mirage of it's making

The imagined oasis

Had no fact or basis 

No reason to exist

For all my efforts

Had been spent

On this one event

Now I repent me

And see the joy

In the simple rain

To but cool and cleanse 

The joy of another

Without any other

Expectation to fill

No need to thrill

Only the present

Tis more than enough

Yet I forgot the stuff 

Of what friendship

Is made

I forbade my heart

To look simply 

To that which is best 

And so lost it all

In my zest

Maybe again

On another approaching

Wind shall I find

Another in kind

But cautious

To not be lost

In the preparation

For there lies destruction

And desolation 

Simply to be

Love and love

Alone tis more

Than the greatest 

Of storms

Can weather 

Them all with

Only itself 

-Joshua Lee Foist

The me beside myself

The me beside myself

When I am no more 

Well aware

That someone's there

And if I even care 

My thoughts it seems

Turn inward

Playing my own

Disception of what

I thought should be

Yet all the while

Complacency

Takes residency here

And I am once more

Subdued in idle

Thinking

Where did I once

Know the words to speak

To say the things I feel

How can I connect again

Even when it hurts

To say what in me

Must be said

To live the life

That's all but dead

Still surfacing

In silence

The cursing

Deep within

Why this

Why am I here

What do you expect 

Of me

We may not see

The same defect

Infect our minds

With our own

Wreck in me

The rotting waste

Whose taste is for

Itself 

Open me 

To clearly see

The hurt in

Someone else

And not

Defend

My own

Disdain

But work

To make

Amends

For only there

Can love connect 

And hope beyond

Perfect

The broken

With the broken

Heart and make 

The broken whole

-Joshua Lee Foist

Are you still listening

Are you still listening

To the me beside myself

To the me that no one else sees

Beside me

You're always beside me

When I hide me away

And I have not words to say

For whose approval am I seeking 

Who's desires am I longing for

Where do I find my belonging 

When all that's said 

Is not said 

I long to be real

To feel

To heal

Am I but third best

Cannot I this reside to believe

Show me a love I know

Not of myself but comes from you alone

And help me to speak

With words of truth

That breathe proof

Of what I think

So help me

That I may not

Remove

From this scene

That I am in

But presently be

Here and now

Without fear

-Joshua Lee Foist

Have thy way with me

Have thy way with me
Open mine eyes that they may see
Surrender all my insecurity
And may thy will be done in me

For all within that would cloud my mind
Would steal my joy and darkness find
So shine thy light expose my fear
And cause thy grace to flutter near

Breathe in me thy bountiful courage
Carry me and do not discourage
For oft have I inward sought
Where lies disguise the truth

Be thou my one desire
And when this goal
I do aquire
Then come

And fill my troubled heart
With earthly love
That's blessed from above
Grant this hope

In me which is fleeting
That though this frail heart
May quake within
For thy sake grant it me
Again

For that which is good
And pleasing to thee
May it yet be found
In time for me

And though I know
Not the day it come
I pray it too may draw
Me nearer to you

For in its lesson find
A picture of thy love in kind
For earthly joys are but
An eloquent breeze

Which warms and cools
A season or more
Until their light
Goes out

Yet for thy light
Which always remains
May it ever burn bright
And envelope my veins

That life eternal in it move
And spread the truth
And love it prove

-Joshua Lee Foist

Till all shall cease to be

Till all shall cease to be

As sand upon sand

Sifts out upon

The shimmering sea

Here no more

To come again

Oh fleeting fragrance

Of existence

Drink deep of the fountain of life

That it may calm thy sorrow and strife

Rest not in the things of earth

But look above to find thy worth 

Whether a twinkle in time

Know thee an earthly love or not

May thy hope rest secure

In that which is pure

And not fleeting

Thy favor found 

In thy faithful friend 

And savior 

From the clouds of doubt

Thy warmth to calm the cool night

Take flight in thy lover's sight

For dawns the day begone the night

When thy joy is made complete

In Him who formed 

Thy frail figure

And fashioned it's perfection 

For thy image

Reflects His own

And in Him

Art thou never

Alone

Joshua Lee Foist

Be free oh fear within me be

Be free oh fear within me be
For I cannot see what ere surrounds
Thy cords have long enshrouded me
And clouded have become my eyes to see

Where despair have thy deadened me
To life for which I've hoped to live
Yet time hath torn from me
The scorn now wrenches me

Awake oh mind
Be not silent
For I would hear
Thy cry

I will not deny
Thy gaping wound
Would hear thy voice
And find thyself

Oh come to me
That which fails to live
Oh live that way in me
That yearns to be

For fear hath long
Clung at me
And closed in
The walls
Diplomacy

Thy heart
It hurts inside of thee
Let out thy pain
And live again

No stain concealed
No more revealed
Shall wipe thee
From acceptance
Come

Oh hope that strives
Within to be
Be free and walk
Thy way with me

Let not thy doubts
Dissolve thy joy
Employ thy courage
And make it strong

For thy heart's song
Is thy own tune
And just as radiant
As all beside

So humble thyself
And let go thy pride
Do not hide this hope
In me confide

For I alone
Hath borne
Thy pain

I know thy sorrow
Hath borne it all
Yet here and now
The moment waits

Wait not
Ere longer
For here it lies
All moments
Within and out
Disguise

Thy eyes look full
And take control
Surrender will
And heart
Be full

Thy own self
Art good enough
For I did form thee
Of myself

And none
Did form
As less than
Excelent

So now find joy
In this
And no more
Be thou
Remiss

Thy own significance
Is not found in others
Or accomplished things

Thy all in all
Is found
In thy artists
Hand

For only He
Made thee
What thou
Wouldst be

So now you see
Now go be free
And find thyself
Thy soul in me

-Joshua Lee Foist

How do I connect

How do I connect

When ere the vein 

In me infect 

The soul to win

So I begin begin begin

My story here it is

With lifted eye

And raised brow

Or slide of hand

To fall how shall I

Find without within

Out of my mind

Out of thy gaze

The haze of that

I cannot praise 

The glazed fear

That somehow 

Lost the words

In prayer

Surrender them

Remember them

No more must I

Adore in them

How now must I 

Engage with them

When all I know

Is praise of them

So now my idol

Gaze again

Cannot enough

To see within

How must I here begin

How must I start anew

If I connect how shall

I then without this

Festering fear

Somehow I have 

Again become

The thing I longed

To cast aside

So now give me

The eyes to see

And ere the mind

Of mystery

And love that

Seek not of it's own

But longs to bring

A pilgrim home

No more alone

No more deny

Thy love shall be

The true connection

To heal the heart

And seal the vein

No more shall it betray 

Joshua Lee Foist

It seems a lifetime ago

It seems a lifetime ago

As the rails cross the lane

Where once were we

Now its passing a mystery

The feelings then

The hope of something

New the season then

Delight of what was

Yet now if ever

Seems so far away

So now their passing

From January to May

From winter to spring

So sing the dreams

Of yesteryear

When the joy 

Of then 

Did set its heart

On when we

The chemistry

Depart

Now no more

Apart in matters

Of heart

Find we

Alone

Yet not

For in our doubts

And fears find we

The questions still

They wander in

But now this rest

Doth bring us round

To ground our hearts

And minds to you

You who formed us

You who know us

You who taught

Our souls to sing

And ere we find frail love

A fling shall surely if

We seek thee true

Find our one and only

Need we ere forget

And throw our hands

Up to the sky

Will not deny

Us of thy love

Most perfect

And complete

Tis all we ever 

Need

Joshua Lee Foist