I am all of jealousy and rage

I am all of jealousy and rage
My soul is caught in sorrow and bitterness 
Selfish and unsatisfied
My pride tis all in which I confide

All round me I see it, I feel it
Others dreams others joy
But none rests within me

Why can't I rejoice in others happiness 
Why must I rage in my own discontent 
I am all undone, outstretched, and miserable

Wishing to understand
Wanting to be understood 
For this whoever I am

Can't recall anymore 
For oft in me
This me I adore
And this me I abhor

Where lies release
Is there still hope
That peace may find in me
Pure joy untainted 

Where might the dawn break
Ist still there courage in me to awake
That will stand up and fight
Despite the weight of it all

Will this love I know
Ne'er oft truly show
Bring life and refreshment
To my soul

I long to find contentment
I eagerly await thy pleasant presence
To fill me

How shall I love
When all I feel is rage
When bitterness and envy
War within this cage

I long to fly from this place
To find some respite
Yet where

Only you are there
In this heartbeat 
In this prayer
Bring hope 
Amidst my despair

Repair this heart that is broken
When all lies as waste before me
So bring love and joy
And a peace that will satisfy

When all within me is
Sin and shame
I pray I may find favor
And rest in thy holy
And fearsome name

-Joshua Lee Foist

Ah, sweet melodies that softly wake this morn

Ah, sweet melodies that softly wake this morn
How richly thy welcome adorns
And how my heart within me doth sigh
In stillness oft in me is sadness (why?)

Tis always such sorrow in the quiet
In the early morn or late eve of night
Oh, what tumult rages within me
Am I soft with envy

Or tis deeper still
This lonesome will
Hath pride taken me
To a sea of longing

How far must I wade through these waters
Is the bottom near beside
Must these currents drag me to the undertow
Who can know

The cold of winter brings a chill
And at times a bitterness
Oh to return to the joy of the season
Despite all the world around
Who hath stolen it away

With their toys and trinkets
In them is no joy to behold
For in time they too grow old

But this brokenness can be made whole
If one will but humbly come
To Him who heals the deaf and dumb
For He is the joy of the season

Tis He who has brought light
And life to all man
To them who believe
It is He who
Calms the fears
That plague one
Through the years

Peace is found
In this Prince
And King
Hope is awakened
Forgiveness is found
In this perfect and holy
Son of God

-Joshua Lee Foist

What confused and conflicted heart doth beat in me

What confused and conflicted heart doth beat in me
All seems dull and void of joy and happiness
How oft in stillness, I grow impatient and proud
I wrap myself in this angry shroud
This melancholy

This tension in me doth take its toll
It increases with every passing breath
More and more it steals from me
The life I once loved

Sorrow slowly settles in
And I wait for the dark of night
To cover me in my sin
Tis the only comfort I find within

Though all tis folly
To think I remain unseen
The thought tis pleasant
I wish at times in this place
None would remain to toil with me

Yet tis pride in me that truly desires release
And it brings with it no profound peace
Oh what joy can be found in such a wretched soul
Is there but hope that remains for such as me
What favor could one find
When one is but near to losing all sanity of mind

Is there one who would share this pain
Is there one who might remove such a burden
It bares deep upon me
The weight of it is too much to bear
And all strength in me is gone

What help can come to me
What life remains
Seems worthless and wasted

Is there but a chance
That this broken heart may ever
Be whole again

The love of man
Is selfish and deceitful
It abuses and confuses
To satisfy its own desires

Tis more of lust than love
It rapes what worth remains
It steals and stains
And what remains is refuse and rot
And all but forgot

Yet there is one
Who remains
Who can heal
And restore

One who loves perfectly
And unselfishly
His love is true
His love is for all
Who cry out in shame
In the midst of the brokenness and pain
They call upon His name

In the darkest of night
In the greatest peril of the fight
There remains this one
This resurrected Son of God
Tis He who bore all sin
Found in the world of men

And He alone can free one
From these chains
Freedom is found
In He
Who has set the captives free
For all eternity!

-Joshua Lee Foist

In this early morned sight

In this early morned sight
My wondering thoughts take flight
Where will this dawn of day unfold
What might these early rays of light inspire

As I gaze past thy fiery splendor
My thoughts drift back to those days I remember
Days past this december day
Back when that autumn rust
Shone bright and fair

Now wonder I if I should care
Where such days have taken me
All seem entwined in mere simplicity
And so am I caught in its duplicity

Oh, fairest, faint, fluttering past
Those days it seemed might ever last
Now time hath quickly snatched them from me
Yea I walk now only in their memory

Perchance another day may bring
Another joyful song to sing
But till that day arise
I shall settle in
This wintered waste
And wait until
Thy fond reprise

-Joshua Lee Foist

Let not this idle tongue lead thee astray

Let not this idle tongue lead thee astray
When little rest is in thee
And this anxious day
Do not throw thy words so carelessly away

For oft they will mislead
They will cut deep
Beneath thy sorrowful state
Let not thy words breed hate

May self control be thy ally
It may keep thee
From losing thy company

For words oft potent prove
What lies within
Whether good or sin

Speak thee cautious
And tender
That thy words thee remember
May be tasteful and true

May they speak well of you
As they descend like drops of dew
May they refresh and restore

That they may give life
To those without
And bring comfort
To those in doubt

So may thy words
Ever and oft be about

-Joshua Lee Foist

Let us then love

Let us then love
When the world around us
Will none of it pursue
Let us then love
When all around
Is hatred and envy
Let us then love
As so we should desire

Let us then love
When all around is war and rage
Engrossed in the folly of the age
Let us then love
When all wrong is polluted
Diluted and appear to be right
Let us then love
As is pleasing in thy sight

Let us then love
When others may curse
Or rob us (or worse)
Let us then love
Despite all rational reason
With humility and honor
Let us then love
As our father above

Let us then love
All the more
As the days are evil
Let us then love
Beyond all boundaries and creeds
With a purpose that bleeds
Let us then love
That the truth may enlighten
And for some frighten
Yet soften all that is wrought in wicked and wrong
Yes, let us then love
And love on with all courage and joy

-Joshua Lee Foist

So comes december softly and still

So comes december softly and still
These days we'll remember if only awhile
Soon other arrivals will engage us
Still all the while you entertain us

This winter chill may in time
Be a pleasantness to feel
But for the moment
It seems as the dread
Of these hectic days ahead

Once was thought to be a holiday
And holy indeed was in meant to be
But now the days grow short
And our patience too has seemed to find
Its breaking point

But may we still amidst the worries we wear
Find some since of purpose to bear
May we strive for joy
No matter what trials ahead may employ

For these days are holy
And few
So may we live them
With fullness and fellowship too

May we love outside our physical means
And live our lives in love and peace
Yes hope beyond the hope we have
In faith we'll find our final rest

-Joshua Lee Foist