Here I slip away

Here I slip away
Amidst the passing sorrows of the day
None shall see from when I depart
Or know my return
Tis my glorious art
Of which they share no part

My heart is mine alone
I do not wish its contents to be shown
What if they did see
Perchance did catch me in my misery
Did catch me in my acts of obsession
I could not stomach their expression

What I do fear most
Is that they would see me
In my frail form
(Which alas is all too oft the norm)
That they should see my imperfections
My failings and short sighted perceptions

How I strive so hard for their praise
That they should glory in my show
And always see me so
But I care not for them to truly know
All the trials I undergo
They must not see
For fear they should think ill of me
And turn in contempt

Yet how I long for someone to know
What thoughts I feel
What sorrows I face
I wish to heaven someone
Would see it all
As plainly as I do
That somehow they might comfort me
In such toil and misery

What would it cost
To be so sincere
It is the thing I fear most
As much as I desire it
So too I retire it
For fear the pain is too great to bear
To bare one's soul
To shed one's skin
That another may be drawn in
To see it all exposed
To see it all for what it truly is

Oh come now courage
If thou wilt
And give me strength
To acknowledge my guilt
That I would not withhold
One single strand of evidence
For all is guilty
Not one bit is pure
All desire is for more
There is nothing here to adore

But if in such complete admittance
There be some hope in repentance
To wash away all the blackness that remains
Then come oh currents of cleansing
And wash me through
From within and without
Redeem me of all sin and shame
For this I ask in thy most holy and glorious name

-Joshua Lee Foist