When I do yet wonder

When I do yet wonder
How at times these thoughts
Do blunder
Away away into the day

The rushing in and out
They quickly fade
And I am left in their
Rummaging

Wondering what they all mean
The things unseen
Yet felt and fleeting they
Still flourish their fluttering
In me

The mind and its chemistry
Partake of this
Yet what for this
Thy presence alone

Can beckon me
And tease
Yet I cannot please
For I am lost
And cannot offer
The way

Tis in retrospect
The thought
Which edges
Its way in

Twas sin
This passing
Or pardon me now
I was lost and knew not
Till now

Thy way was crooked
Thy signs were shaded
With doubts debated
And no clarity did come

For the dismal duration
Of preoccupation
Did its chipping away
And still what of the day

Tis clear that choice
Lies always before
Though distractions
All around reactions

If not to hold steadfast
This fortress cannot
Hope to hold
No earthly support
Can hold it complete

Save surrender
And always
It comes

Yet pride has its way
Of reckoning
And wishes to obstain
From humility's pain

For there's dignity to uphold
And the ways of old
Have always remained

Why wander from
Their security now
Though sorrows be there
Their passing in prayer

Yet seeps the poison
Of every word
And wounds
Grow deeper

With every listening ear
So this be thy moment
Of waking

To this all else forsaking
For no other fix
Will do

Its prison doth always find
Their irons are cold
And not kind

So quicken then
To thy release
That thou mayist find
Pure peace

Not a portion
To pass the pain
But one that comes
When courage remain

And acceptance
Doth start to know
Thy heart

No judgement to stand
Tis patient and prudent
Perishing all thy part
Of poisonous power

Till at last be thy hour
Of surrender
That moment shall not
Thee quickly forget

For there thy savior
Did bear thy burden
And carry it all
Beyond the grave

That thee
In thy lowest estate
May rise anew
By his single sacrifice

Thy one sure hope
Hath found
Thy help
Hath come
At last

-Joshua Lee Foist