Frustrations, they take their tole

Frustrations, they take their tole
And all too oft I must play the role
Of competent, though in truth I am
Rather cold and callous

Here I linger in my palace of rage
Waiting for that lonely age
Where all will bend to my will
Yet still I am discontent

I am outstretched and worn
Restless and torn
From all humanity
In my quiet insanity
I bleed out all of self desire
For what remains I must retire

For they conspire against me
And truly are my enemy
I long to get away
For even a moment or a day

To find that quiet place
Where one can respite
In peace and find a remnant
Of grace

Though at times I fear
I may never again
See thy face
All I remember
Is but a trace

And soon tis lost
In this waste

Oh take me from this place
To a world yet born
Where beauty and grace
May thee yet still adorn

For here I remain
To weep and to morn
But thy kingdom of hope
Is the only rope
Which may save
And pull me from this plague

I need thee
In this hour
Surround me in thy shower
That I may feel the rain
Wash away all the doubt and pain

Such pleasant washing
I long to be cleansed
Of all fear and failure
That in time
I may come to thy gate
Rich and full
And resting
In thy tender
Embracing
Unending
Care

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now November hath remembered

Now November hath remembered
And returned yet once more
I oft enjoy thy seasoned stay
Though thee remain
At most a month

I find thy entrance
Most alluring
As thee add an hour
Upon thy morning break

As if for heaven's sake
To give thy company
An extended rest
Before they awake
Or dawn doth break

So descends thy starry host
And makes its boast
Upon the eve of dawn
And slowly passes on
What remains of fall
Within thy seasoned hall

Thy colors so rich
Thy beauty beyond compare
I oft love to stop and stare (awhile)
Perchance I shall not behold thee
Within a second glance

And so my softened eyes
Dance round thy pleasant skies
And drink in thy charms
As if to hold within these arms
A little while
Thy tender grace and style

Yea shall I embrace
Thy rosy colors
Full and fluttering
Round thy amber gates

For beyond in darkness
Slowly waits
The fall of autumn
And the wasting away
Of the winter day

Yet before
We close that solemn door
Let us journey still
Awhile more

May we rejoice
In thy beauty rich
Which thee generously
Do employ

So seasoned with thy joy
I shall remain awhile
Within to indulge
In thy glorious array
While still tis called
Today

Joshua Lee Foist

So often changeth

So often changeth
These many desires
In me I have sought

Yet thee
Ever remaineth
Thee changeth not

So am I caught
Between the spirit
And what I want

My desires often
Fade from one passing moment
To the next which is but here
And then surely gone

Such waste
These precious few hours
Polluted in pride and petty perfection
Which can never achieve
All that I hope and believe
Tis wasted
For this instant satisfaction

Indeed it too
Hath near but lost
All attraction

And now addiction
Hath taken me
With its affliction

And I am bound too it
By pure fear and submission
It hath cost me that

Oh, to be free
To follow after
That which I once knew
Was faithful and true

Did cost me little
And much
Yet gave me
Everything

All desire
Satisfied
Fully

And found
In faith
Within that one
Who restores
And renews
All joy
And longing
To its proper
Place

So the soul
May at last
Rest
At peace
Within
That sweet
Heavenly
Grace

-Joshua Lee Foist

So sit I here intently and still

So sit I here intently and still
Gazing into what my heart longs to feel
This touch, this ache
And panic in me doth hesitate

For I approximate
What desire in me
Cannot fully create
I linger in this pool
Where pleasures
Are but tattered treasures
Void of their value and virtue

Once this rose did bud and blossom
But now tis torn
By its thorn
Forgotten and forlorn

In these quiet moments
My heart doth soften
And shed all this doubt
And delusion
From callous and confusion
And long for some conclusion
Some hope that may lie ahead

Where to these waters
I can tread
Where I can quench
The thirst within
It doth beckon me
With its sweet savory substance

To come take my fill
To be full
And satisfied
Forever in its drink

May this heart
Oft diluted
By the dismal decay
Of the day
Come quickly away
And seek for that
Which will not
Pass away

Yes rush
To those streams
Where one's broken dreams
Are reborn
Where all longing
Finds release
As it rests
In this quiet peace
Here beside these
Reviving waters

-Joshua Lee Foist

Now for the day that is to be

Now for the day that is to be
Who can know where it shall take me
While anxiety and sleep depravity
Strive to take control

I wonder oft how I shall play my roll
Whether calm or loud
Shall I linger in this shroud
That separates me from all social interaction

Shall I give it full satisfaction
Or shall I step out among the bright lights
And perform my part
I know by heart
Though none is in me
But depravity

Why reveal such scars
Would not it bring more distance
Surely they too share this sickness
Yet few will seek comfort in
The company around
Within they hide
Underground
Denied of all human
Influence

Yet humanity hath already taken its course
Its influence hath led one to this place
Here lies the depth of its disparity
Where it hath lost all hope in charity

Oh to find
An oasis of longing
Where all is revealed
And nothing concealed
All is seen for what it has been
And what it has become

Yet it denies
No one
All are welcome to come
And drink from its source

-Joshua Lee Foist

So strayed my heart for a season of hope

So strayed my heart for a season of hope
Seeking after that which seemed to satisfy
Yet twas ill invested
And this congestion and callus grew
A season or two

Till at last it too was past
And when I think upon
Those "wasted" moments
I think "my God"
What am I seeking

If not for you
All that I pursue
Would crumble and fall
So passions succumb to sin
And plague me deep within
While I terry here awhile
And hope I may find release

Yet always it ends without peace
Instead more dread in me tis fed
By this wasted investment

If indeed this hope must grow
Then I plead once more
"Oh God" do not let go
For even as it hurts so
I know that all is but shedding
And wasting away
As I draw closer (I pray) to thee
More earnestly
Than the days before

And so as I journey on
From this season
I shan't forget the reason
For which I came
Or my crime of which I am to blame

Tis all in learning to trust
As He indeed is just
And willing to forgive
So may I all the more
With thankfulness live
For the one
Who has given His son
To show His love

In part, He hath given His heart
And shown His glorious work of art
In death conquered
And life reborn
So has He calmed the storm
Of sin that so long
Hath raged within
And brought us home
At last to Him

-Joshua Lee Foist

Time, how thee steadily move on

Time, how thee steadily move on
Whether I wait for thee
Or keep in motion
Thy notion remains
Continuous

I cannot beg or plead
That thee return
To what was
Only now what is
While still it is here

And a moment (I fear)
And it too is a year
Since last twas here

So time
Whether acknowledged
Or no
Thee continue
And shall remain
Unchanged

May I then
Learn from thee
How to use what time
That I am given

For I cannot keep thee
Thee move as easily
As oil in the hand
And more freely still

None has the will
Save thy creator
And none can cease

So, indeed
May we invest
In these precious
Few moments

That we may be blessed
With moments
We cherish

And may we not despair
When such seasons
Disappear

For all things
Have a beginning
And end

And who can know
When this moment too
Shall end

-Joshua Lee Foist